If anything I've written bothers anybody, please let me know so that I can change it.
MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS OF THE LOST CONTINENT!!!!!!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK OF SPOILING
This is written from Darkstalker's PoV, just after the events of Darkness of Dragons, before The Lost Continent. Soooooo... Here goes nothing!
Prologue- Into Heaven[]
I lay on shiny, smooth marble, with a killer headache. Days passed as if they were hours, and still I lay there. About a month passed before I dared to open my eyes. Everything was shiny and white, but infused with beautiful pastels, glimmering softly. I stood, turning to take in the sights before me. Giant wrought-iron gates loomed imposingly, shut tight to me. I took a step forward, wrapping my talons around the bars. Suddenly, a white dragon, not of any tribe I knew, with massive feathered wings, appeared. "Darkstalker," it said in an impossibly soft and loud voice. I began to fear it, and tried to use my magic. The white dragon chuckled. "Your magic won't work here. Do you want to come inside?" The white dragon gestured behind it. I frowned. "No. I want answers first," I demanded.
The white dragon nodded, as if to say that any questions would be acceptable. "Who are you, what tribe are you, where am I?" I spat the questions in an almost fearful way. The white dragon smiled, the very corners of it's mouth lifting up. "I am Dove, I am an angel, and you are in Heaven." I gaped. "Am... am I... dead?" I choked out. Dove inclined her - she sounded like a dragoness, but I am assuming gender, so I could of course be wrong- head, and I began to break down. I fell to my knees, tears spilling across my cheeks. "I... I want to go inside now," I trembled. The gates opened with a soft swish and I got up, not looking up, and trudged inside. What I didn't know then was that this was the beginning of my new life.
I've got to clear some things up very quickly before I begin, so bear with me for a minute while I explain. Shortly after I entered the gates of Heaven, Dove explained that I wasn't really dead, but that this version of me was dead. I still lived, in the body of a dragonet. That's pretty much everything I need to explain. So, I have a recommendation for when you die: bring your laptop. The Wi-Fi in Heaven is the best, and you can even email Phyrrian emails, even though I had no-one to email. Okay, back to the story. This, what you are reading, is what I typed up in Heaven, it's my confessions, it's my life justified by me.
Chapter 1- Why did I use my powers for evil?[]
All the bad things I did in my life, it was only so that everyone would like me better. But no matter how hard I tried, the acts turned out evil, hurt the ones that I loved, hurt me. It wasn't just to make everyone like me, but to make Clearsight love me more, but it only made her fear me, fear what I had become, or what I was going to become. I read minds to prove that that I could, and to help fuel gossip, fuel my knowledge.
I had read my father's mind several hundred times to make sure that I knew what could happen to me if I wasn't careful. I looked into the future to assure myself of my goals, to make sure that I could get what I wanted. I showed Clearsight hundreds of futures where we ruled the NightWings, with beautiful dragonets. But in the corners of my mind, there were dark futures, where Clearsight betrayed me. Where the darkness won. I chose no to look at those because it reminded me that things could always get out of talon.
The animus magic was to produce fanciful things to inflate my image. The soul reader- to prove that my father was loosing his soul, to prove to Fathom that both him and I were fine. It actually scared me to think about the negative endings. Enchanting Clearsight's earrings- that was she didn't scare me with bad prophecies, and to make her stop worrying. Everything I did to Indigo- that was my way of trying to help Fathom become more comfortable with being an animus.
But Clearsight. My heart only ever beat for her, I loved her more than I valued my own life. As I type this, I begin to think if Clearsight ever made it up here, and if I should visit her. So, I took a break from my depressing lifestory and go to visit Clearsight.
Chapter 2- Clearsight, my love[]
"Dove?" I barely breathe her name, and there she is, ready and waiting for me to ask her questions. "Good day Darkstalker. What is your question?" she asks in her strange quiet and loud voice. I glance around, wondering if I should. "Is it possible for me to visit someone else here?" I ask before I can change my mind. "You wish to visit Clearsight, correct?" Dove smiles knowingly. I blush. "Yes, she is here, you can visit her by simply saying her name," and with that, she vanishes as abruptly as she appeared. I inhale sharply. Should I? "Clearsight," I hiss. The colours in the sky suddenly melt, dripping into each other and creating hybrid colours, turning into a swirling vortex of pastel. The vortex tugs me in, bone by bone, limb by limb.
The ride passes in a confusing mash of headache-inducing colours. Then, the colours fade away, and I am deposited in a place that looks exactly like mine, except with a few more scrolls. A pile rustles softly. "Clearsight?" I call out quietly. The rustling intensifies, then stops. "Clearsight, is that you?" I call out again. "Nonononono it can't be you, please don't be you, I can't be you, you're still in a coma! An eternal coma..." Clearsight walks out from behind the scroll pile, trembling like a leaf. I am floored. It's her! She looks as perfect as the day I left. She hasn't aged a day and looks like the sun is shining from behind her, with delicate wildflowers woven around her perfect ivory horns.
"Clearsight, my love, I've missed you. I am here because the bracelet broke, and I was released," at this, Clearsight puts her talons over her mouth, tears sparkling in her eyes, and I continue. "There was a battle and I got transformed into a dragonet. This version of me died, but I live on as a dragonet." Clearsight pauses, chokes out a sob, than runs forward and wraps her wings around me. A few seconds pass, and she just stands there, and I stand there, lost in a moment of pure ecstasy. Then a gold and pink figure appears from behind another scroll stack. "Clearsight?" He says in a honey-coated voice.
This dragon, like Dove, is completely unrecognisable to me. "Oh, Sunstreak!" Clearsight jumps away from me. She runs over to him, hugging him. He smiled at her, then said something to quiet for me to hear. I hated the way that he spoke, the way that he talked to Clearsight as if she was his, the way he put his wing around her shoulders. The only thing stopping me from tearing him apart was the regretful look on Clearsight's face. ""Darkstalker, this is... my husband, Sunstreak. Sunstreak, this is my old boyfriend, Darkstalker." Clearsight mumbled sheepishly. Sunstreak suddenly pulls away from Clearsight, eyeing me cautiously. A sad expression flits across his face, but suddenly his face turns stony. I try to look intimidating, but I know that my heartbreak shows in my face. "Darkstalker... please!" Clearsight starts forward.
I am running, running away from the only dragon I ever loved, whispering, "take me back," to the air, and the vortex appears, and I fling myself into it, and then I am back in my place, left with a laptop and nothing but the memories crumbling into place. So I pick up my laptop and type.
Chapter 3- Fathom and Indigo[]
Fathom. My brain dredges up long forgotten memories, still churning from seeing Clearsight. I think about whether I should go see him, what his reaction would be. I imagined something similar to Clearsight's initial reaction. "F... Fa... Fathom?" The vortex begins to open and I almost regret it. But I was reuniting myself with people from my time, and Fathom was on that list. I allow myself to tumble through each bone-crushing twist.
I open my eyes to an aqua room which seems like it was open air, instead of an endless stretch of white. I hear a soft hiss from behind me, and whirl to see Indigo, eyes wide and wings flared, as if to protect something - or someone - behind her. "Darkstalkerrrrr..." She snarls. She flares her wings wider. I feel intimidated. "In..." I gulp in a few deep breaths. "Indigo," my voice shakes ever so slightly. She doesn't lower her wings, and after a minute of the staring contest, I see a green head leaning around her wing. Too small to be Fathom. "Mommy?" The head is a small dragonet, with a slight lisp. "Mommy, is this the scary dragon daddy told us about?" another head, this time a dark blue, appears, and I try not to cry. "In...Indigo. Where's Fathom?" I ask. I turn slowly, trying to see him.
"I'm right here." Fathom's worried, smooth voice sounds from behind me, and I jump. I stare at him for a second, then the tears that I tried to hold back burst out of me in a flood. I fall to my knees, crying as I remember everything I did wrong, everything that would make Fathom and Indigo hate me. "Oh, Fathom... I'm sorry or everything, please forgive me, you could never know how sorry I am," I sob before he can say anything. He flinches, and I can see the confusion on Indigo's face. She tentatively lowers her wings, and I can see the three small dragonets behind her. Fathom goes over to them, and hugs Indigo. "Darkstalker, why are you here? You never died. I should know." Fathom is still wary. I hiccup, and take a few shaky breaths. "The bracelet broke." I begin. I see Fathom and Indigo exchange a worried look. " I woke up, and a dragonet set me free. I went around and... I did exactly the same thing, Fathom. I never learnt from my mistakes. Another dragonet killed this form of me, and now I live on as a dragonet." I explain, feeling more tears prickle at the backs of my eyes. Indigo whispers something into Fathoms ear as I slump on the ground, still crying.
Fathom is silent and doesn't move for a second, then walks cautiously over and wraps his wings around me. "Oh, Darkstalker, I forgive you. But, I still can't fully forgive you for your past mistakes. You can visit us, but please don't come anywhere near my dragonets." Fathom hands me the ultimatum. I nod, and wrap my wings around him.
Chapter 4- Clearing things up[]
When I arrive back at my area, I see a small dark dragoness standing awkwardly at the edge of the room. "Darkstalker...?" Her voice makes me want to cry. "Clearsight? Why... why are you here?" I am surprised at how steady my voice is. She looks shocked, and takes a few tentative steps forward. "I... I don't know..." she whispers. "But I had to apologise for Sunstreak's behaviour earlier... it wasn't right. I know that it was hard on you, seeing him, seeing what you could have been to me. I am happy now, but you must know that I still love you. Will always love you, but not like that. Like a friend, like a brother. It's just I can't... the mistakes you made, they were not... I... I can't explain. I love you like a friend, and him... well... you know." She smiles sadly. I nod, slowly.
It makes sense, I think. "I understand... it was just confusing and I was... selfish? I knew that you would have moved on, but it still hurt to see you with someone else. I love you too, Clearsight. Always have, always will." I smile softly, sadly, fighting the tears that threaten to fall. I move to hug her, and she hugs me fiercely. "So... what happened after..." I let the question hang in the air. I know the answer will hurt me, but when I see her whole face light up, I know that I asked the right question. "Oh, it was... amazing! After... you know... I had a vision. Not a prophecy, just a glimpse of the future. It was one that I had never seen before, with dragons I couldn't recognise, and beautiful structures! I think it was because it was one that did not include you. Our futures had long been intertwined, so when I was free, new futures came crashing in. Ones where I left with the other NightWings, ones where I found another NightWing to love, and ones where I killed myself and lay with you. But amongst all of that, there was one where I flew across the ocean for a week, to a place where new dragons roamed. I had found the Lost Continent, Darkstalker!"
She turns to me, excitement blazing in her eyes. The name does not register with me, and I look at her blankly for a second. And then I realise. "The Lost Continent??? How??" I feel like I had just taken part in a massive scientific discovery, one that only few had known about. The Lost Continent was a merely a tale amongst the NightWings, used mainly to express annoyance with living spaces, or housemates. "Yes! My visions allowed me to see the correct paths to Pantala. I had to fly in a hurricane, to warn them of the dangers that were coming. I met two dragons, unlike anything I'd ever seen. One was a green and mahogany dragon with wings the shape of leaves, and the other was Sunstreak. They spoke a different language, but knew some Dragon. On that island now are three tribes; the LeafWings, SilkWings and HiveWings..."
I gaped and reacted appropriately as Clearsight relayed her story to me. It was strange hearing about this new continent, where there was a whole other language. The name for it wasn't really defined, but Clearsight referred to it as either the 'Pantalan Language' or 'Insect', just as ours was 'Dragon'. SilkWings grew up without wings, and then developed wings at the age of six and they spun brilliant cocoons of silk, or, even more rarely, a solid string of flame. She sits, sometimes facing away from me, sometimes staring straight ahead and sometimes smiling softly at me. We talk for so long, it feels like years. "Time flows differently in Heaven." I say at one point.
Chapter 5- Forgiveness[]
"It was so good seeing you, Clearsight." I sigh, giving her the biggest hug of all time. She sighs too, hugging me back. "It was good to see you to, Darkstalker. I'm... I'm still so, so sorry about the whole Fathom thing. I am so, so sorry for everything." She says softly, resting her snout on my shoulder. "Clearsight, it should be me apologising! It was all my fault... I should never have done any of the things that I did. It was wrong, and I hurt you, I hurt Fathom, I hurt everyone who was ever affected by my powers." I am almost crying by now. Clearsight hugs me tighter, pressing her snout hard against my shoulder. "Its okay," she whispers it over and over. I repeat it too, and just saying it makes me feel better. "Clearsight... have you seen Fathom and Indigo lately?" I say conversationally. Her smile cracks slightly, each shard crashing down one after the other. "No..." She whispers. She tells me that she felt responsible for making Fathom break his promise. She didn't want to visit, in case he still blamed her. I respond by telling her that if he could forgive me, he could forgive anyone. We hug again, then part ways.
Chapter 6- One Last Apology[]
There is one last person that I must see. I think to myself. But this is the hardest one yet. He won't want to see me. I hesitate. It is hard to think clearly when I remember, dry-mouthed, at all of the injustices that I did to him. Before I can lose my nerve, I shout out his name. "ARCTIC!"
This time, the vortex is cold, uninviting, and too tight.
I am deposited on an icy snowbank. The cold seeps through my thick scales, piercing my bones. I stand, shaking the cold wetness of my legs, when I hear him. "So you're here." He snaps pointedly, glaring at me. It was the same cold glare that I was used to, from every day of my dragonethood. I start to snap back, but then pause. "I am here to apologise." I say as levelly as I can. He snorts, disbelieving. "That's a lie, if I ever heard one so blatant," he growls. I freeze. "Just because you're so broken on the inside doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!" I yell. "You ruined my dragonethood, completely RUINED IT! You never even pretended to be friendly, always pushing me around..." I took a deep breath. I controlled the hysteria rising in my chest.
"Even counting all if that, what I did can't even compare. No matter how mean you were, how rude you were, how terrible you were to me... killing you was too much. I was always so angry, and do you wanna know why? Because you ruined everything that I had once held dear. It was your own fault that you were killed. You are your own murderer." I yelled at him. He glared at me, but then his composure broke, and I saw him for who he really was. My father, for all his flaws, was not one to easily give up, to surrender, but here he was, vulnerable. Part of me wanted to take advantage of that, but I forced myself to stop and listen.
"I left the Ice Kingdom because as a child, I was oppressed by my mother. Because I was a prince, because I was an animus. All I knew was rules, rules, rules. I never questioned it, because I had never known a life without rules. Then I met your mother. She introduced me to this new life, this foreign concept of 'freedom' that I found intriguing. I didn't have a dragonethood either, so I didn't know what to do..." He doesn't sound anything like himself, as he speaks in a soft, broken voice. He bows his head, swishing his tail in the snow. I sit down beside him, ignoring the pain from the cold, and rest my wing over his back. He sniffed, then I saw tears drip off his snout onto the snow. "I forgive you, but can you forgive me?" I whispered. Arctic twisted his head to look at me, disbelief making his eyes darken. "I forgive you, but I cannot forget. You owe me," he answered in his usual sharp voice. "Of course." I answered. We hug, and now I feel totally at peace.
Chapter 7- The End of My Story[]
So, this is the end. I felt it was both long, and in some ways, too short. Did I justify everything? I hope so. Did I heal my broken past? In some ways, yes.
I was forgiven for all my numerous past mistakes. I forgave a single mistake which changed me.
I hope, that as the characters of my story did, that you too can forgive me.
Thank you.